First blog post of 2013 and it only took ten days… not to bad considering my recent blogging track record.
Seeing as though a new year has begun I think it is appropriate to share my intentions for 2013. A year ago a dear friend opened me up to the idea of creating a list of things you “intend” to do in the new year, instead of resolutions that tend to me unrealistic goals. She stressed the importance of writing them down and looking at them everyday to remind yourself when you fall of track. In a quest to a more positive life I made my list (a very pretty one at that), printed it on pretty paper and searched for the perfect frame for it. Well I never found the frame, in fact (this is so embarrassing) I found it a few days ago at the bottom of my craft bin. As I tore it up and tossed it in the trash I become extremely disappointed in myself and decided to start creating my new list of intentions. I decided that since I am a visual person it may be best for me to make a collage of images and quotes that represent my intentions, instead of a list, so I can’t help but look at it everyday.
1. Make Myself Proud
I have always been pretty hard on myself but the last few years my self esteem and self pride has taken a major beating. I have gone through struggles with anxiety, which lead to daily medication that made me really lazy and extra hungry. I suffered a lot of heartache, which lead to deep sadness and depression. And worse of all, I tried really hard to keep this all to myself and was determined to always be the “Taran” everyone knew me to be. I have continued to put the happiness of those I love first, instead of my own and although I prefer it that way, I have come to realize that it needs to change. So making myself proud is a huge intention for this year. It encompasses everything from being proud when I look in the mirror to standing up for myself when I am being taken advantage of.
This one is going to be tough. If you didn’t get the sense from the above intention that I am hard on myself, then there is plenty more to prove it…
I don’t deal well when things don’t go according to my expectations.
I take peoples actions and behavior personally.
The more self esteem I lose, the more sensitive I become.
I put a lot of extra weight on my shoulders and although I know I can bare it, I don’t need to anymore.
Not much to say here, who wouldn't like to travel more?
On my quest of self acceptance and love I intend to do something once a week for me. I know what you all are thinking…. I am single and childless, how could I not be doing things for me, but I fall into the same traps as everyone else. I am horrible at telling people no, so whenever someone asks “can you do me a favor”, I usually do them a favor. I am the dog sitter girl, please can you pick this up for me girl, I can give you a ride girl, how can I help you girl… for crying out loud I work 40 plus hours a week “assisting” people to make their jobs easier. So even though I don’t go home to a husband and toddler at night, I still don’t embrace “me” time. Whether it be a pedicure or writing in this freaking blog, I am going to make it a priority to do more things that please me this year.
I want to lose weight like every 30 something woman I know, but most importantly I want to be healthier. I want to play soccer with my niece and not get winded so fast. I want to eat a meal and not feel sick afterwards. I want to look in the mirror and smile. I want to feel strong. I want to live the true Colorado lifestyle and I want it all to start now.
The exciting thing about a new year is that we are given the chance to start over. So here is to a much brighter, much happier, and much more fulfilling 2013!
